if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
