hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
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