# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
