bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
