Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
