Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Randomize
