why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
