Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Randomize
