His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
