that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
