Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
