i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
And the cops told us we were all naked.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Randomize
