I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Randomize
