I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
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