The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
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