So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
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