her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Randomize
