you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Randomize
