Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
