sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Randomize
