That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
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