i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
