what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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