i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Randomize
