just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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