i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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