I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
