I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Randomize
