There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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