omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
