get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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