She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
