I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
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