Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
