why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
Randomize
