Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
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