Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
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