She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
