if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Randomize
