I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
Randomize
