I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
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