I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
