I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
