Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
True college students do jello shots in the library
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
