I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Randomize
