stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
Randomize
