I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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