Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
