i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
you are never too drunk for berry picking
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
