Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Randomize
