To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
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